The Light through the Window
by carolily
Summary: In the spotless, white room that smelled of arsenic and hospital fumes is where I am destined to spend the rest of my life. Locked up, never to see the outside again. When Colonello dies, Lal just can't cope. Sad Cololal oneshot.


Carolily here again! Just to warn you, this one is really sad. Just sayin. It's set after Colonello dies, exact time I don't really know. Anyway, I'll leave the rest up to you guys to find out. Another cololal fanifc. Enjoy!

In the spotless, white room that smelled of arsenic and hospital fumes is where I am destined to spend the rest of my life. Locked up, never to see the outside again. I warily look up from my bed, the white silk sheets felt smooth against my skin. There is only one window in the whole room, a small one set so high up that I can't even see out of it. The only things that can get through into this bleak place are sunlight and the cheerful chirps of birds. I sit up, my once beautiful navy blue hair messy, my cheeks sunken and hollow. A neighbour in the next room screams and mutters incoherently, but I tune it out. During the times I have been locked in the room, I've gotten used to the daily routine of a mental rehabilitation institute.

For how long have I refused to eat, to drink? How long has it been since I've been placed on suicide watch, been carted off to this loony bin? I don't know. It's too tiring to think about it anymore. I sigh and lightly shake my wrists that have been rubbed raw from me constantly tugging at the chains tied to them. See how pathetic my life has become? Now the only warmth in this room comes from the picture on the desk, as well as the bandanna and the pacifier that I have hidden in case they would think that I would somehow kill myself with it.

I would stare at that picture for hours on end, thinking about the days where I was still a lively leader of CONSUBIN. I would spend hours trying to complete every conversation with you, trying to make it perfect. I would spend days spinning fantasies on alternate paths we could have taken, which didn't result in you dying and me losing my mind. It's all right for me to waste my time now; I have all the time in the world.

"So this is what has become of the ex-CONSUBIN leader, failed arcobaleno Lal Mirch." A slight voice drawled. I spin around, startled. I never have any visitors. The rest of the world has moved on without me, forgetting my presence. But sure enough, as I turn around, I see his little infant body, dark fedora hat pulled down and his pet chameleon Leon perched on his head.

"Reborn." I faintly acknowledge him with a weak nod, and sink down onto my pillows again.

"How pathetic you have become, Lal." He elegantly sips his coffee, jumping onto a chair. I laugh lightly, a maniac laugh.

"Well, I think I've been sane for long enough now." I spoke feverishly, pulling on the chains forever bound to my wrists and tied to the metal bed frame. Reborn just shook his head sadly.

"What's the matter with you Lal? I've seen you kill countless people. I've seen you put on an emotionless mask at every damn funeral you've went to. I've seen you train many students to the best of your abilities. So why now, when that insignificant Colonello of yours died, you've turned into this?" he gestured at me, a tone of frustration seeping into his voice. I laugh bitterly, a cold cruel laugh. How could he understand? How could he know my pain that I've had to endure, my mind ripping itself to bits and pieces until nothing left of me remained in this shell of a body?

"You would never understand." I shot my words at him, while I open the little cupboard in my bedside table, revealing a bottle of wine. I take it out, and drink straight from the bottle. Appearances don't matter anymore. I'm already fading away from the world, form other people's minds. Reborn makes a sound of disgust, and sips his own coffee.

"I thought you don't drink." He stares pointedly at the bottle of wine as I wipe my mouth with the back of my hand.

"There's a first for everything." I smile bitterly, wincing as the chains dig deeper into my skin.

"He would have wanted you to be happy. That Colonello, he cares about you more than you know." Reborn quietly mutters, as I take another swig form my rapidly draining bottle.

"Well, he couldn't have cared much for me if he would leave me alone." I bite back, sitting up straight in my short little burst of energy.

"He did care about you. His death wasn't anything he could help." Reborn raised his voice also, a tone of frustration seeping into his words.

"Well, it doesn't matter now does it? He's dead. D-E-A-D DEAD! Nothing can be done for me now. So just leave me alone to die my pathetic death in this godforsaken place." I shout, knowing that I won't disturb anyone. They're all loony themselves too.

"I'm just here to give this to you." Reborn throws a piece of paper onto the table holding my alcohol, and left. I breathed slowly, letting the effect of the wine kick in. But before I go completely drunk, I pick up the letter, and squint at the messy handwriting. I felt a pang as I recognize your writing, scrawls and childish letters. I didn't open and read it, but instead I tucked it under my pillow. Draining my half empty bottle of wine, I drop my head back onto the pillow, fingers reaching for the soft, warm piece of paper tucked underneath my head. As the alcohol kicks in, I see you, waving and calling out to me, that mouth of yours forever frozen into a smile brighter than the sun itself. As I lose consciousness, the sunlight seeps through the little window set in the wall, warming me as I smile and drift off.

Lal Mirch was found dead on the same day of alcohol poisoning.

That's the new fic for the day! I'm really sorry to COLONELA for making this so sad. Hope you don't cry too hard! It just randomly popped into my mind somehow. Anyway, pleaseeee review! anything is appreciated!


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